Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
