Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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