He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
