My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
