Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
