And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
