OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
