I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
40s are totally the cure
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
