because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
