I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Damn victory sex feels great
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
