For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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