Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
