Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
