So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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