Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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