I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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