I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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