ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
