What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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