The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
