I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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