coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
