Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
