my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
