Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
