That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
