I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
