After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize