i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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