Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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