:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
