you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
