I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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