***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
