I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
