when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
