So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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