I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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