I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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