Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
