How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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