Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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