i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
