Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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