does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
