Dual....:-)
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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