So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
they're like a gay fantastic four
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
