I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she peed on how many people?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
