just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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