so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
