I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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