Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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