Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
