All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
