i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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