My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
