I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
