if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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