I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
