I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
