I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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