new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hippo gnu deer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
