I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
