You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize