She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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