normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize